10 steps to a successful meeting

In my job as a facilitator I have organized quite a number of international meetings, events and conference calls. My experience is that the success of a meeting depends more than 60% on its preparation. A well prepared, and facilitated, meeting most likely will be a successful one. Please find below my 10 steps to facilitate a successful meeting:

  1. Preparation is everything. As mentioned before, key to the success of the meeting is it’s preparation. Rule number 1 is to spend at least the double amount of time to prepare than you plan for the meeting itself. So if you have a 1 day meeting. Plan to prepare at least 2 days, preferable more of course.
  2. Make sure you take care of the logistics well in advance. Secure a meeting room with a window to let some daylight in. Take care of the technical equipment such as projectors and network connections, lunch and refreshments. If needed reserve enough hotel rooms. Send out the invitations well in advance and do not forget to mention the address of the meeting location! Make sure the begin and end time of the meeting is in the first paragraph and ask people not to leave before the meeting has ended as people have the tendency to reserve their returning flights too close to the meeting end time.
  3. Co-develop the agenda with all participants. Make sure you plan enough time for each topic. Also build a natural flow into the agenda and do not end with the key topic at the end of your meeting, as you may need the time if some of the other topics take longer than expected.
  4. Setup a conference call with all participants before the meeting to discuss meeting objectives and confirm the agenda. Also agree that participants prepare themselves for the meeting. Send out pre-reads if needed.
  5. Make sure there is enough off-topic time before, after and in between official meeting time. Some participant may see each other for the first time and value the time they can spend together to discuss various topics. If you have a multi day meeting, plan well for dinner and do not go to that trendy place where the music is played to loud and people cannot understand each other.
  6. Do not rush into the meeting. Give participants time to introduce themselves and their objectives.
  7. Make sure each topic will lead to agreement (or agree to not agree) and some action items. Nothing is more depressing than a 2 hour discussion without any real outcome.
  8. As mentioned in a previous post on the Skilled Facilitator approach, synchronize your thinking with your actions. This is especially true for a facilitator or meeting leader. You are not running the meeting as a one man show, you are in service of the participants! Please also recognizes that each participant shares a piece of the truth, as everyone is right from their point of view. Be compassionate.
  9. Running a meeting is hard work. Make sure you have had enough sleep! Your level of enthusiasm and energy is contagious. If you are energetic, the participants will too. Check and take care of the energy level of all participants. Plan to have have some energizers available if needed.
  10. A good close of the meeting is as important as a good start. Plan enough time to go around the meeting room and ask participants if they met their objectives, what was successful and what can be improved the next time. Do not fear their honest opinion, every meeting is a new opportunity for you to learn.

Read the follow-up article: Murphy’s Law and the things to avoid when organizing a meeting

The New New York Attitude

Empire State BuildingIn a previous post, two weeks ago, I promised to let you know how my little experiment towards The New York Attitude went, trying to see if there is another perspective towards the New York City rudeness. I’m now back home, after a very good trip over Memorial Day weekend, and can share my experiences with you.

In the previous trips I made to New York City, I had the experience that people can be extremely rude. What a difference this time! Although I also encountered some rude people, especially in the tourist areas like Times Square and the Empire State Building, my overall picture towards New York changed quite a bit. The only thing that remained the same was the way how taxi drivers fought there little battles on the streets of Manhattan Island.

I approached the whole trip with a more open mind, expecting people to be nice. And it worked. I met some lovely, caring people. And not just in one place. Whether is was Greenwich Village with people hanging out around the fountain in Washington Square, or reading and relaxing in Bryant Park, to people strolling around and playing in Central Park. Even the police officers, shopkeepers and hotel staff were very friendly, helpful and generally caring.

New York City remains one of my favorite cities in the world. I will continue to look at people and situations with a different attitude and will cherish this quote from Wayne Dyer: “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.

Review of Making Time by Steve Taylor

Making TimeMaking Time: Why Time Seems to Pass at Different Speeds and How to Control It – Steve Taylor

Have you ever wondered why time seems to speed up as we are getting older? Or why time slows down when we are bored or sitting in the dentist chair? And why time seems to expand when we are experiencing new situations in our life, like traveling to a part of the world we have never been before? In Making Time, Steve Taylor gives an answer to all these questions.

Steve Taylor’s previous book, The Fall: The Insanity of the Ego in Human History and the Dawning of A New Era(also recommended and I may review it some day), dealt with the question why people, thousand years ago, have fallen out of an almost perfect society into the current ego dominated way of living. Remarkably, one of the reasons why this happened was the strengthened sense of self, or ego.

In Making Time, Steve Taylor does a very good job presenting his five laws of psychological time and how to transcend them. One of the ways to do this is to quiet the ego as it is the ego that is responsible for creating our perception of time. Or as mentioned in some spiritual teachings: Time does not really exists, it is all made up in the mind.

The author also explains how higher states of consciousness can effect our time perception. And that a practice of meditation and/or mindfulness can help us quiet the mind, to slow down time or even transcend it.

I truly enjoyed reading Making Time as it is giving me a new perspective on how people perceive time and how to make the best use of it. As with all things in life, you have to flow with it, resistance will only make it worse.

Making Time is a fascinating book to read. Recommended.

The New York Attitude

New York City is one of my favorite cities in the world. I have been there quite a few times now and every time I am amazed at the architecture, liveliness, cultural diversity and the speed at which people move around the city: 24 hours a day. Time seems to move faster here than anywhere else in the world.

Another thing that always amazes me is what they call the New York Attitude. Locals call it a mixture between tough, bravery and being overworked. They want to make it, to succeed in life, whatever it takes (even at the expense of others). To me the New York Attitude is being rude, very rude!

Once I made the mistake of taking a bus into Manhattan to my hotel. Instead of giving polite directions, the bus driver was extremely rude and shouting very loud at her passengers, mostly foreign tourists, to put their bags in the baggage compartment. I guess this can only happen in New York.

On that same visit, my friend Danny, a colleague who I was travelling with, made the mistake of filming a NYC police officer’s tow-away truck. Bad mistake! He almost got arrested for that. A couple of hours later, he got into an argument with a cashier at a restaurant over 25 cents, after leaving a generous tip on the table.

Now the reason why I write this post is that next week I will visit NYC again, this time with my wife who has never been there before. In a strange way I have been looking forward to the New York Attitude which to me is part of the whole New York experience.

It will start at the airport with officials looking at me with a “you’re not welcome” expression on their face. Then the cab driver, who sees every other car as a competitor who he needs to outsmart at all cost, using the taxi horn as his main weapon.
Staff at New York City hotels can be rude as well: “No, we are not ready for you yet, come back in a couple of hours. You want a storage space for your bags? We don’t have that here!” Need I go on?

The great thing about writing a personal development blog is that I can use my own life as an example on how to, or not, improve communication with others: how to live a better, more authentic life. While preparing for this post I have been thinking about a quote from Wayne Dyer:

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”

Doesn’t this apply to me as well, thinking about the New York Attitude? If I expect people to be rude, I will only see rude people. However, if I expect people to be nice, I will notice them too.

So, as a little experiment, next week, I will go to New York with a more open mind. Expecting people to be nice, patient and caring about others. Let’s see what happens. When I am back, I will let you know how my New York Attitude experiment went.

Update: The New New York Attitude

The Naked Truth

We human beings like to hide as much as possible of our true nature. We try to hide our feelings, our emotions. Our sexuality. What our true intentions are. Our age. How much money we make. What our political opinion or world view is, if it is not in line with that of the majority. I can go on for hours with this list. The truth is that we like to give away as little as possible of our true, authentic self. Afraid that other people find out who we truly are.

But number one on this list must be the relationship we have with our body. As our body is expressing our current state of being, we must hide or cover it up at all cost. All to keep up appearances to fit in with the masses. No wonder that so many of us are frustrated and depressed. Our personality is imprisoned and our body is expressing this, resulting in stress related illness.

Have you ever wondered why we are so ashamed of our body? Why is it so difficult for us to show who we truly are, without reservation? Don’t get me wrong as I am not advocating here to go nude in public. But stay with me and think of it for a while.

Clothes have a function, to keep out the cold, stay warm and express ourselves. But why is there such a taboo in our society on people without any clothes on? After all we are born naked. We shower naked and sleep naked. Being naked is very natural. Every animal is naked. In fact we are the only species on earth with clothes on. Are we too afraid of our body as it is remembering us of our primate heritage? The naked ape?

We find it perfect normal to watch a murder on TV. But once a naked body is shown we freak out. Isn’t that sad?

Look at it from another perspective. Being naked is the ultimate honesty as there is nothing to hide. What you see is what you get. Sometimes my wife and I go to a sauna. Being naked is the norm and no problem at all. Apparently, as soon as everyone is naked, we suddenly accept it.

Going deeper, the skin is just another layer. We try to hide that we are getting older by wearing cosmetics or lift our body, maybe use implants. But what’s wrong with being natural and authentic? Why are we kidding ourselves and covering it all up?

Eckhart Tolle

If you have not heard of Eckhart Tolle before and would meet him for the first time, your first impression would probably be that of a very ordinary, simple man. You may even find him a bit boring when you hear him speak. But don’t judge a book by it’s cover as this man is one of the most remarkable (spiritual) teachers of today.

His message is very simple: Do not (unconsciously) dwell in the past or the future but stay present in the now, the present moment.

This message is not new, as many people advocate to be more present, or being conscious. But Eckhart Tolle presents this in such a simple and easy to understand way, that if you still do not understand what he tries to convey, you are probably not ready yet for this powerful teaching.

He also talks about people’s unconscious behaviour. This is what he calls the pain body. The pain body is like a hidden shadow which once activated, can take over a person completely. Ever wondered why people suddenly can act like crazy, provoked by one simple word? Well, it’s because they are taken over by their pain body. This is very informative information which gave me a lot of insight about myself and others.

Eckhart Tolle has written two books, The Power of Now and A New Earth. Both very powerful and highly recommended. I would also recommend to check out his numerous audio and video programs.

What’s wrong with some positive news?

Our current day society is obsessed with negativity. We love to read, or watch TV, about someone else’s misfortune. Whether it is a celebrity’s marriage going down the drain, a political career ending or yet another war in the Middle East.

Have you ever counted all this negativity in newspapers, the internet or on TV news? Where is all the good, positive, news? Let me ask it in another way: What about yourself? How many good things do you notice? Is your main focus on all the bad things happening around you? Or on the good ones, on the happiness in and around you?

There are a lot of positive things happening around you and all over the world. I’ll bet there are a lot more positive things happening than negative ones, but do we dare to see? I guess this has to do with our mindset. If our focus is only on all the negativity around is, then we are sure to find it. All we need is a change of perspective to change from a negative mindset to a more positive one.

 Here’s some advise for you to try in the upcoming weeks:

  • Try to focus the majority of your time on all the positive things happening. if you see some negativity on TV, switch it off or go to another channel with more positive content. Also refuse to look at Internet pages or newspapers with negative content.
  • Wherever you go, try to make the place a little bit better then before. This could be as simple as a smile to a salesperson, a compliment to a colleague or leave some small change with a homeless person. Try to be nice to someone, or do something good, at least once a day.

The idea here is to change the way you look at the world. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Change your perspective. See how the above affects you. See how this makes you more happier and positive than before.

I would love to hear back from you how this experiment went. Please leave a comment to this post and share your experiences.

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