Part of my job as a life coach is to assist my clients on their path towards a more conscious way of living: knowing who they are and why they act the way they do. True independence means you are the director of your own life; thinking for yourself, taking your own decisions and doing the things you love to do. But if we have to be honest, how many of us are living this way and how many of the decisions we take are actually our own?
In our life we are influenced by our parents, our friends, our work, the country or society we live in, our religion and the media. The impact by others is enormous. There is a good chance that a big part of our life is based on what others would like us to be. There is nothing wrong with that if you like it that way. But if you don’t, and the things you do don’t give you the energy and passion you are looking for, maybe it’s time for a change and regain control over your life.
Let’s do a little test, Have a look at the list below and check how many of these where your own choices or decision and not someone else’s. Also check if you were influenced by someone else and by what level.
- The work you do
- The choice of your friends
- Your spouse
- The car you drive
- The clothes you wear
Try to be as honest as possible. Can you honestly say that you, for the full 100%, made all those decisions by yourself?
As mentioned above, the impact from others is enormous. Our mind works like a huge hard drive, recording everything we do, see and hear. In a sense our mind works like a computer, which is constantly being reprogrammed with all this information. Most of the decisions we take are influenced by our sub-conscious.
But does that mean we don’t have a choice in everything? Of course not, we still have a choice but we have to be aware of this process taking place and keep asking ourselves: Is this what I truly want? Does this make me happy?
Design your own life
If you want to design and live your own life, the first step is to be aware of the influence by others. The next step is to know what it is you’re passionate about and then, consciously, redesign your life. This process is actually quite simple. Make a list of everything going on in your life and mark the things you like to do (or people you like to be with) and which give you energy with a plus and then mark the things you don’t like, and are energy drainers, with a minus.
Now have a look at the list you just created and see if there is a pattern. How many of the things you marked with a plus or minus have been initiated by yourself? How many have been other’s ideas? Are there things you can do less, or stop doing? And can you increase the activity of the plusses; the things which give you energy and you are passionate about? Not everything will be possible on the short term but you will see that with some small changes a lot can be done.