Self coaching for lasting change

The name of this blog, Authentic Self Coaching, actually means two things: Authentic Self Coaching and Authentic Self Coaching. One of the goals I have with this blog is to question why we act, feel emotions, believe and think our thoughts the way we do. Once we are conscious of this we have the power to change. This is the essence of self coaching. I will use this article to explain what self coaching is and what is necessary for it to lead to lasting change.

What is self coaching?

In self coaching people are coaching themselves. As there is no coach available, you have to be very open to listen to your own feelings and emotions, and be motivated enough to work on yourself. There are no upcoming coach sessions to remind you of the fact that you have to work on your goals and no money lost if you don’t show up for a session. All you can rely on is you and no one else.

As a life coach I know the value of my role as coach. A coach can give valuable feedback and has many tools available to facilitate the personal development process of his clients, see my article what is a life coach. Another positive aspect of using a coach is that coaching sessions doesn’t come cheap. This may seem paradoxical as money is one of the reasons why people will choose self coaching, but it’s a fact that once people pay money for something they are more motivated and take it more serious.

Take action

If you want self coaching to be effective, reading personal development books alone is not enough. You can read as many books as you want, but if you do not take the necessary steps in your own personal development process, nothing will happen. You have to be willing to go deeper and deeper into yourself until you get to the core of your being. That’s where you can find the keys to lasting change, not on the surface. If you are not willing to do this, and go all the way, self coaching will not work.

There are many personal development and self coaching books available. If you go to my recommended books page you will find some good examples. One method I highly recommend is The Work by Byron Katie. The Work consists of four basic questions and a turnaround to question your beliefs and is one of the most effective personal development methods I can think of.

Goal setting

Setting personal goals can be extremely useful to accelerate your growth; to define what you want to get out of life and who you want to be. Set goals for short term (2 months), medium term (1 year) and for longer (5 years from now). Be as specific as possible and write your goals down as if they are happening now. See my article on personal development goal settings.


If you want to learn new behavior, you need to practice. Research has shown that our brain needs 21 days to learn something new. After that period things become a habit.

Do you remember how it felt when you learned to drive a car? Everything was new and you needed to focus on every little detail. Gradually you learned and driving became easier. Nowadays, if I drive my car I’m not even aware of all the things I do. I just start the engine and drive to wherever I want to go. Driving has become a habit.


Self coaching can be a good alternative for coaching if you are short on cash or may feel uncomfortable with discussion your issues with a coach. Self coaching will work if you can motivate yourself enough to start, and continue, the process and are willing to go all the way. And remember the ego has many tricks to delude you. So do not stop at the first obstacle you encounter, but continue with the path you have chosen. There will be many rewards along the way.

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