After writing my article, feel insecure and build self confidence, I had a discussion with a friend who is also a life coach. While we talked about our own emotions, as life coaches dealing with clients, I mentioned my own insecurity and what it means to me. During this discussion I had a sudden insight. What would my own life mean without insecurity? Insecurity is part of life and I need to feel insecure to take action, to make changes. Without some sort of insecurity in my life I will lose interest in making the necessary changes to move ahead. In other words: I need insecurity!
Think about it for while. You are living the perfect life: you dress sharp and look good, have enough money to get whatever you want, no worries about your job or business. You have the perfect relationship, great sex, never having a single argument together. You live in the perfect city, perfect neighborhood, have perfect kids, perfect friends and your family is the greatest family in the world. No insecure feelings whatsoever. Can you imagine what kind of life this will be? For some this may be a dream come true, but is this really so?
I cannot speak for others, only for myself. But for me, after some time living and loving the very secure life as mentioned above, I will probably get bored, very bored. I will get lazy and start losing interest in a lot of things as there is no need to be creative or take any action. I need to walk the thin line between security and insecurity. Insecurity keeps me sharp. I need some insecurity in my life to make the necessary changes to adjust to an ever changing environment.
If you look at history, feeling insecure is a huge catalyst for the creativity of mankind. Of course, people cannot create masterpieces of art while war is threatening their families. But some insecurity is usually very good. Look at artists, scientists, entrepreneurs or politicians. They all thrive on a little insecurity. Insecurity isn’t paralyzing them; it’s taking them to great heights as they are taking their chances whenever they can. Once they are well established you will see that they start losing some of the earlier drive, and creativity, they once had.
Like change, insecure feelings are part of life. Don’t be afraid of them. If you resist them, ignore them or a paralyzed by them you cannot benefit from the message they are delivering to you. If you accept insecurity as an inevitable fact of life you can use it to your advantage. Listen to your insecure feelings. Start acting on them and make the changes that are necessary. Know insecure feelings are part of who you are. Life will be very boring without them.
Accepting insecurity as a part of life can be very powerful and will build self-confidence. Insecurity and self-confidence don’t have to be counterparts; they can go hand in hand. Without insecure feelings there cannot be self-confidence. Use your insecurity as a guide to change.
And for me, now I know myself a little bit better and have found peace with my own insecure feelings, I can help my clients, as a life coach, even better.