As a life coach and someone who is genuinely interested in people I have learned to listen and to observe. I look at how people behave, how they move, how they breathe, what their facial expressions are and listen to what they have to say. You can learn a lot by observing and listening to how people speak.
It’s no surprise that the way you think will impact the way you speak. If you think positive you will speak with more positive words than someone who has a negative mindset. If you are confident, you speak with confidence; using powerful clear words. On the other hand, if you lack self-esteem, your words are less powerful, less clear. Changing the way you think to yourself and speak to others will have a huge impact on your own personal development.
There’s another reason why the way you think and speak is so important. Thoughts and words are like code for your brains own computer program. You literally give yourself instructions with your thoughts and words; these instructions are then carried out by your subconscious mind.
Have a look at the following two examples, spoken by two different persons, both wanting to complete a project:
Example 1: “I will think about working on that project today.”
Example 2: “I am going to complete this project today.”
In the first example it is not likely the project will be completed. You can hear what the person in example 1 is thinking, as he is still “thinking” about the project and not working on it. The person in the second example is very clear; there is much more confidence in his message. He is determined to complete the project. This makes all the difference.
Here’s another set of examples, this time about controlling thoughts:
Example 3: “I need to work”
Example 4: “I want to work”
Example 3 is what I call a controlling thought. The thought itself can cause stress and anxiety as you “need to” do certain things. You can replace “I need to” with “I must do”, “I have to” or “I should do”; it makes no difference as they all will have the same impact. Example 4 is more liberating as here you are making a conscious choice to work.
Below is the last set of examples; both mean the same with different words:
Example 5: “I don’t want to be poor”
Example 6: “I am rich”
The mind cannot interpret the word no. In example 5 this will mean the mind will read the message as “I want to be poor”. Example 6 is better as it is telling the mind that you are already rich, which can be the start to a new rich mindset. Btw, what do you think will happen if you tell your kids “Don’t touch that vase”?
There is a saying: If you want to change your life, change your thoughts. I think this very true. You can have years of education but in the end it’s your mindset, your thoughts and the way you communicate to others that determine how successful you are.
Changing your thoughts starts with observing, consciously, how you think to yourself and speak to others. Listen to the words you are using. Are they positive or negative? Can you see a pattern? Pay especially attention to limiting or controlling thoughts. Once you have identified those limiting or (self) sabotaging thoughts you can start replacing them with better ones. In the beginning this can be challenging, so allow yourself to make mistakes.
You will see that you will get better once you get the hang of it. Once you master this you will have the power to change your life for the better. Change your thoughts, change your life.