How to find your True Self, be your Authentic Self

Have you ever played a role in your life? Like me, most likely you did; whether it was consciously or unconsciously. Human beings are great actors and play roles all the time. We are the actors in our own lives: Acting to be funny, acting to be tough, and acting to be liked by others. But meanwhile we forget to play the one role that really matters: Being our true self, being our authentic self.

Have you ever met a real authentic person? If you did, I think you will agree with me that there’s something special about them. Authentic people are like magnets, attracting your attention. Authentic people do what they think is right, and let their feelings decide what the right course of action is, not their minds. They also have a “What You See Is What You Get” attitude, and do not worry what others think of them. They have thrown away all the bullshit out of their lives.

I’ll bet you wish to be more authentic, be a more authentic person. Well, the answer is you can. It’s not that difficult. All you have to do is find your true self, be you authentic self.

There are many definition of the true self or (how I usually call it), the authentic self. Here is mine:

The authentic self is the one you are without limiting beliefs, conditioning or any protective walls or strategies you have build around you. It is the real you. It’s your inner child.

Most people have locked their authentic self in the basement of their minds, afraid to show who they really are; embarrassed as they are. But it’s this hiding that’s the cause of internal stress and external communication issues:

First, people who encounter you, unconsciously, know you are not real. They know you are just acting, that you are faking it at some level. Guess what this will do with your communication effectiveness?

Secondly, hiding your authentic self is the cause of stress and anxiety. What if they find out? Keeping up appearances takes away your energy. Think of the following situations: A first date, a business deal or a job interview? Or what about pretending you are happy when you’re not. Sounds familiar?

During our lives we’ve come up with dozens of survival strategies. We needed them, but some of them have become obsolete. We don’t need them any longer. The strategy is limiting you, limiting you to be your true, authentic self. You may have been hurt as a child and brought in a defense or survival strategy. You may have been bullied as a child and decided to act as a comedian, making jokes all the time to be liked. But is this strategy still valid? And what’s the effect on your well being if you are joking on the outside, while crying on the inside?

Why pretend something or someone you are not? Suppose you are all alone, at home or in nature, and no one can see you. How would you act? Is this any different than when people are around? And why do you act differently?

To be more authentic and genuine, stop acting. Stop playing roles. You do not have to pretend to be better or someone you are not. Throw away the acting and just be who you are. You will liberate yourself. You will enjoy a better life and find true happiness. Watch what happens and what enormous affect this has on you and the people around you. You will be a true authentic human being. You will to find your true self and be your authentic self.

9 comments… add one
  • Fatima Da Sep 20, 2009 @ 13:47

    Great Post and I do agree its important & Liberating to express the authentic self

  • Find yourself with a smile... Sep 22, 2009 @ 8:14

    Thanks, Patrick.

    It’s amazing to me how many experts/masters of meditation have said something similar.

    When we let go of the masks and social roles… the Truth of self and reality is revealed.

    But in this society, you have to be really brave to give away all of your hiding places!

    It’s surprising, though, how liberating the results are…

    keep smiling,


  • Jason Sep 22, 2009 @ 15:42

    Good Post! I guess we are all actors one way or the other. We behave and act differently at than we do when we are at home. People seem to put on a facade mostly just to fit into their social environment they find themselves in.

    Unfortunately, this makes it difficult to connect with genuine people in life – but we all need to eliminate our fear and discover the freedom to be ourselves in every situation, that’s if we want to have happier relationships in our lives.

  • Nothing profound Sep 24, 2009 @ 14:58

    I think everyone has their own way of being themselves. Each person has to find tyhe lifestyle that suits them best.

  • Nothing profound Sep 24, 2009 @ 14:59

    Sorry for the typo. Should say “the lifestyle….”

  • Jayanthi Vittal Dec 29, 2010 @ 16:51

    Your article is straight to the point and simple. I liked it very much. Thank you very much.

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